I’ve suffered with my mental health for as long as I can remember in one way or another, and have always struggled to deal with what some people may deem as normal life occurrences.
Upon becoming pregnant with my youngest daughter, my fourth child, I was happy, but this very quickly changed. I’d never mothered a daughter before and had such a strong doubt in myself. I didn’t believe I would be enough for a daughter, I was scared that she would end up like me, and believed that would be a terrible thing to happen.
During my third pregnancy the father did not cope well with the change to my emotions, due to a mixture of stopping my anti-depressants and hormones, eventually he left and therefore I had to face the rest of my pregnancy and life with a newborn alone. We got back together and although our relationship was in a good place I was terrified he would do the same again during this pregnancy, so struggled to speak about my fears and what felt like irrational thoughts.
When my perinatal mental health midwife first suggested I be referred to Home-Start, the thought of another agency being involved, meeting more people and having to try and explain my thoughts was daunting, but the support they could offer eased my worries. Throughout the entire time I have been supported by Home-Start, I have never been made to feel a burden and have always felt comfortable around both my Co-ordinator and my volunteer. To begin with I was anxious, but once I had built a trust with my volunteer I started to look forward to our time together, it may seem such a small thing but I was able to complete my housework, have an uninterrupted bath and rest. Having someone there to listen to me and ease my worries was irreplaceable. I have faced further difficulties in my personal life, but Home-Start has done nothing but support me. When I have felt like I honestly can’t carry on, they’ve propped me up and helped me to see that I can.
At the beginning of my Home-Start journey, I felt isolated and trapped in a dark cave, my Co-ordinator and my volunteer have shone a light and guided me on my way out of that cave, they have helped me overcome the hurdles I’ve had to face, and shown me that I can do what I thought I could not. I know without a doubt that without them, my journey would have been much more difficult, and I doubt I would have overcome it in the way I have. I cannot express my gratitude for the service Home-Start offers, it truly has been a lifeline.